Weird

I just finished reading the book, Weird, by Craig Groeschel and I thought it was excellent and well worth the read.  Since I check my books out pretty randomly (by God does knows when I am getting them!) it amazed me at how well it worked as a follow up to Radical.  Craig is an awesome speaker and writer and his books are a good read.

This book focused on how normal is not working and how we are called to be weird.  It totally challenged me on a few areas and we are making adjustments accordingly :)  One of the things that David and I have decided to start doing is making sure we are intentional with our time.   With him working during the week and me working on weekends, family time can easily get lost.  We have decided to make Tuesday nights our "date night" with our kids.  I take Ella out once a month and Brady out once a month.  He does the same with each of them.  We have also decided to make Thursday night "date night" for ourselves.  Almost all of our dates will occur at home, it's just the season of life we are in, but we are going to be intentional about making sure after the kids go to bed, we spend time with each other.  We are also making Thursday night (while the kids are still up) a "no electronics night".   I am excited about these changes and am looking forward to having this family time on our schedule and honoring it.

He also spoke about being having a divine discontent (and recommended a book by Bill Hybels called Divine Discontent).  He had some really great questions to make you think about what God was putting on your heart to be discontent about.  What is something that God has put on your heart to be discontent about and to change?  Is it helping the homeless?  Mentoring a child?  Feeding the hungry?  The list could go on forever, but it really had me thinking about some of the things that God has put on my heart lately.  He has made it clear to me what I have a discontent about and I can not just keep letting it happen.  It really is my responsibility to do something, anything.

I am really excited about how God has been working on me and putting all of these things in my life.  The best thing, by far, that I have been doing is reading the Bible every day.  I read five chapters a day and I really look forward to that time.  Sometimes it is so hard to think about sitting down and reading when all I want to do is sleep, but He always blesses that time and I never walk away from that time without feeling so much more connected to God.  I really, really encourage you to spend daily time reading your Bible.  It does not have to be five chapters, it can be anything, but just do it.  I promise you, it is totally worth it.

I Have Running Water

I read...a lot.  I am almost always reading a book.  I have a list in my phone of books that are recommended to me or books that I think sound good and I randomly request them from the library.  God has really planned out which books I have been reading and when I receive them.  Last spring, I did the Beth Moore Bible study on the book of James.  I had never had a favorite book of the Bible until then.  I actually considered naming Kinsley, James if she was a boy because I was so moved by the book.  I think it can be really trendy these days to talk about social justice.  We can jump on the band wagon of talking about all the things that are wrong with the world right now, but we really do not do anything about it.  I am 100% guilty of this.  I hear of the horrible injustices that are occurring every single second of every single day and I am heartbroken in the moment, but then I kind of just drift back to my comfortable American middle class life.  I am convinced that God does not want me to remain in that pattern.  He has been bringing books into my life ever since last year that are challenging me to actually do something about it. 

I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan at the same time I was doing the James study.  Totally read that book.  It really got me thinking on how I live my life and my priorities.  Is it really okay to say that I am a follower of Christ, but continue to ignore the life and death needs of my fellow human beings?  I then read Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis.  What an amazing example of someone who did what God told her to do.  Her life is far from glamorous and I am sure many people think she is crazy.  But, wow, what a difference she is making in the world.  And what a testament of living in peace when you follow what God tells you to do. 

I just finished Radical by David Platt and thought it was absolutely life changing.  I respected that Platt was convicting without being condemning.  Did you know that every single hour 26,000 children die from starvation and preventable diseases?  TWENTY SIX THOUSAND PARENTS WATCH THEIR CHILDREN DIE...EVERY.SINGLE.HOUR.  That is not okay.  Those parents love their children just as much as I love mine.  They did not choose for their children to die.  They were waiting for someone, anyone to help.  They are not lazy.  As a matter of fact, many walk HOURS every day just for dirty water for their family.  They walk hours.  And let's be clear on this one, some of the parents do not grieve the loss of their child.  That is because they are already dead.  Their children had to die alone, starving, and without a parent.  I know this is completely depressing, but it is also reality.  How convenient it is to go back to our lives and pretend this doesn't happen.  I certainly do.  It is just too much to think about.  I won't even begin to talk about the sex trade that involves millions of children.  That is for another post.  Platt does not just talk about the people that die physically every day, but also spiritually.  Billions of people do not even know about Jesus.  And it is our job to tell them about the love, peace, and forgiveness He offers.

So, what does all of this mean?  David and I (he is now reading the book) are committed to living a simpler life, paying off our debt, and living a life that means we can give to others.  We have all heard the Mother Teresa quote "Live simply so others can simply live", but really think about that.  What are you willing to give up so that one less child dies today? 

This will always be a struggle for me.  I love to shop.  I love to decorate my home.  I almost did not post this because I was afraid that I would be judged every time one of you saw me with something new.  We are choosing to send our kids to private school and some may think that money should go elsewhere.  We have prayed and prayed about it and we believe that is God's direction for the life of our family.  This may mean that we never move out of our starter home and we are okay with that.  Do we really need bigger and better?  It has hit me numerous times how many people in the world would love to live in my garage.  My GARAGE.  They would think that was amazing.

I don't know what God is calling us to live without.  I know that right now we are pulling back on our "fun money" to do things in order to pay off our debt quicker.  I know that we will always have to evaluate what we should spend our money on. We don't feel as if God has called us to sell everything and move to be missionaries in another country.  Some people are called to that, but at this time, we really think He wants us right here.

All I do know is that the other day I was in my kitchen and thinking about how I would like to redo the walls in there and make some other changes.  And then God totally spoke to me (not audibly) and I just heard Him say "You have running water".  I have running water.  What a humbling statement.  How many mothers would love to have running water for their families.  I have running water.

Be Awesome

Here is my Pinterest project for the week!  I saw on Pinterest awhile back a really cool sign (linked to an Etsy store) that said something about being awesome, I can't remember the exact quote.  It got me thinking that it would be really great to have something that said "Be Awesome Today" on the wall above our stairs.  I asked my good friend Natalie to make a vinyl decal that said "Be Awesome Today" and she was nice enough to do so :)  The stairs leading from our main floor to our second story go straight into our study (which is currently Kinsley's room).  We have the stairwell and her room painted in a medium yellow color, so I had Natalie make the decal in a dark blue.  I loved the idea of having something inspirational for the family to see as we started our day.  David loves it because it reminds him of a locker room (he played sports in high school and college).  I wasn't going for a locker room effect in any part of our house, but ya know.  Here is my very low quality picture (I promise I'll get better about this).

As far as the rest of my 30th year resolutions, I'm sticking with them.  I cut out all soda and sweets (cakes, cookies, and ice cream~minus for birthday celebrations this week!) to help with baby weight loss, have been reading my Bible, we've been doing good on our spending plan, I've been working on decluttering our space at home, and have started to order from Green Bean delivery weekly so that I'll be cooking with more fresh food.  There's my homework turn in this week!

I'm 30

It happened.  Yesterday was the big day.  I am officially 30, married, and have 3 kids.  I remember when I was little thinking how 30-somethings were so old and grown up.  They had real grown up jobs and had reached official adulthood.  I still feel like I am working on being a grown up though.  Even with a house, job, husband, and kids, I sometimes feel like I am playing "make believe".  I wonder if that ever changes??

My birthday was pretty amazing.  On Tuesday night, I went to Bible study and I was surprised with balloons, a cake, cards, and presents.  I was so surprised!  There was a princess theme and I loved every bit of it.  I could not believe that all of these ladies, some of whom I have only been in group with for four weeks, took the time to make my day special.  Right after midnight, David surprised me with a card letting me know that a  Kindle Fire was on the way. We do not buy presents for each other most of the time, so I had not expected a single thing.  I have been debating for years (seriously) about buying an e-reader because I love love love to read, but I am not too great on gadgets.  I am really excited to put this bad boy to use. The kids had made me cards I was so proud of Brady and Ella for working hard to make the letters for "mommy".  My birthday request for the day was to have no TV on all day and that happened.  Since we have been stuck in the house for over 6 weeks, I have had enough TV to last a long time (specifically kid shows...wow, they can take you to a whole new level of insanity!).  We went to lunch at Dewey's, my favorite, and Brady was so excited because we ordered the Green Lantern pizza.  He could not believe we ordered the super hero pizza.  Love that kid.  We then went to the Blue Manatee bookstore, which is a super cute kid's bookstore in Oakley.  The kids played there forever and we bought drinks at their cafe.  I have always dreamed of opening a little bookstore with a cafe when David and I retire, but I don't think bookstores will even be around still then.  That makes me sad.

I thought we were going to dinner at my parents' that evening, but my Mom and sister came and kidnapped me right before we should have left.  We went to Buca di Beppo and I was absolutely beyond surprised when there was a group of some of my most favorite ladies there.  I was spoiled with another princess themed party, wonderful presents, and a delicious cake.

I had so many sweet Facebook messages, text messages, and phone calls....it was such a perfect day.  During this season of my life, where we do not have the time to socialize as much as we would like to and especially recently where I have been home so much, it felt so incredible to celebrate with so many people that I adore.

I am so, so, so blessed and do not take that for granted.  Thank you for everyone who wished me a happy birthday, picked up a card, celebrated with me, and have made the first 30 years of my life more than I could have ever dreamed of.  I have been surrounded by some of the most amazing people and I love that you allow me to be a part of your lives.  Here's to my thirties!

He is Enough

Last night I kind of went a little crazy on my husband.  It was late, the baby is almost six weeks so she is at that phase where she is fussy a lot, and I had done that really bad habit of mine of letting things bottle up and then getting mad at my husband for not reading my mind.  So....I let him know that I felt very unappreciated for all the nights that I had been staying up late with Kinsley, getting up with her in the middle of the night, getting up early with Brady and Ella, and then staying home with them all day because we have been in lock down mode due to the flu season.  The crazy part is that he has never said that he will not get up with the baby during the week (he always does on the weekend).  He has never said that I can't leave the house when he gets home from work.  He has actually taken the big kids outside as much as possible to play in the snow.  I just got mad because honestly, I am exhausted.

After doing about a million or so dishes this evening and then starting what I can only imagine is the first of about thirty loads of laundry (okay, that is a slight exaggeration, but my son really had no underwear today and I had to have him wear a diaper, but he was a good sport and pretended it was underwear...seriously), I went upstairs to take my shower.  While I was showering (and trying to not obsess about my to do list), all I could do was think about everything I should have done today, this week, last week, five years ago, etc.  It really got me thinking of how often I do this through out the day, every day.  This is how my mind works:

-When I get up in the morning:

• I should have gone to bed earlier
• No, I should have stayed up later and cleaned the house, completed a project, etc.
• I should have gotten up before the kids
• I should have had our clothes laid out

-At some point during the day

• I should have gone to the store to buy (insert item) yesterday
• I should have read to the kids more
• I should have been more patient
• I should have made a different parenting choice
• I should have called/e-mailed so and so
• I should have been a better friend/daughter/wife/mother/employee

-At night

• I should have worked out
• I should have made better food choices
• I should have said something different
• I should have planned better when I was younger
• I should have been smarter with our money
• I should have majored in something different in college
• I should have been wiser when I was younger

And the list goes on.  I do not always phrase things this way, so I think that I do not even realize it when my self talk is going down this path.  The enemy is tricky like that and he likes to see us spend our time focusing on everything we have done wrong.  A lot of my "I should haves" are true.  I should have made better choices, but I didn't.

When I was thinking about writing this post, I was going to titled it "You are Enough" because I needed to tell myself that.  I was trying to make myself realize that all I am doing is enough and that I am doing my best.  Which is true.  But, when I went to read my Jesus Calling devotional tonight and I seriously starting crying.  God spoke directly to me on this subject.  The devotional tonight started off by saying to not be ashamed of my exhaustion, that God has made this an opportunity for Him to take charge of my life.  It continued by saying do not wish things were different (for background here, I am beyond blessed with my life now and have an amazing family, but I tend to have a whole lot of regret about bad decisions I made when I was younger), but to focus on Him and allow Him to lead me.  It concluded by telling me that my constant battle was against "the world, the flesh, and the devil" and that is why I am so weary.  I need to put my hope in Him and stop fighting these things.  The battle has already been won.  I need to stop trying to fight a battle that God has already more than conquered.

I realized that the title of this post should not be about myself being enough because I am not.  God is enough for me.  He is enough for my family. He is enough to cover all the things that are on my to do list.  I just need to trust Him to guide me through each day and He will.  He always has.

A Pinterest Post

Disclaimer: This is not a photography blog and almost all of my pictures on here are taken with my outdated, but still loved, Blackberry.  Okay, now that is out of the way...

There are a few things you should know about me before reading the rest of this post.  First of all, I love all things vintage.  I dream of Ikea opening a store that is completely vintage.  Secondly, I could marry whoever invented spray paint.  DIY'ers everywhere salute you, Mr./Ms. Spray Paint Inventor.  Lastly, I love this project because it makes me feel very Draperish and I love Mad Men enough to complete a project just for that reason.

So, while I was pinning away on Pinterest one day I came across a pin for a coffee bar for your house.  Really it was just a cute table with a shelf over it.  I thought this would be a brilliant addition to our dining room.  David and I love and I mean LOVE coffee, so he jumped on board with this project (trust me, this is a rare gift).  He always helps me do our projects (and by help, I mean I envision it and he does it, thanks dear!), but he does not always think it is a must for the house.  Well, we have a very tiny kitchen with super limited counter space, so we both loved the idea of moving our Keurig out of there to free up space and to have a space devoted to our current means of survival with three kids 4 and under.

When we were downstairs cleaning up the basement for the road we made the kids, we stumbled upon an old cart that the previous owner had left behind.  The previous owner lived here 55 years, so who knows how old this cart could be!  It was a pale yellow and in rough shape, but I saw some potential in that little cart.  So...I went to my trusty Pinterest and looked up drink carts and fell in love with a bright red cart.  I picked up some spray paint (Krylon's Banner Red in gloss), David painted away, and voila:

I love the pop of color it adds to the room. The top shelf is our Keurig and Espresso machine, the second shelf is a basket full of coffees and teas, and the bottom shelf is still practical and holds bibs and burp clothes for the kids.  Next up, we are refinishing a shelf to go over it and looking for coffee mugs with personality to display and use.

Road Rally

Our house was built in the 1940s and when we bought our house it came complete with a mint green painted cement floor.  Awesome.  We will eventually get around to finishing off our basement, but until then we decided to make the most of it.  Enter what can be accomplished with some left over paint:

That's right, a fancy indoor road (the chair and table on the side is their cafe and what you can't see are the play tents we convinced the kids should be moved downstairs to make a "city".  We're tricky). I know, the kids are blurry, but they are fast.  We now have a place for them to ride on their power wheels, bikes, and all that fun stuff during the winter.  Plus, our chihuahuas are no longer in danger.  Win win.