Time Well Spent

I am finally posting my first entry on this blog. It's a long story on why I am even attempting to keep up with a blog on a regular basis (I think this is round four), but regardless, I hope I grow from this and that maybe you can smile and laugh with me along the way.

So I actually like it when I am just going along in the world, minding my own business, when I am suddenly hit with a new perspective on a view that I held so dear because I just knew it to be true.

I was at work last night when all of a sudden something hit me. I have always told myself that it is okay that I am intentional about making time for my kids, no matter what, and that I am unapologetically selfish with my time with them. I have even put my marriage on the back burner because I only have a small window of time with my kiddos at home and I'll have forever with David. I knew this meant our marriage might need a little patchwork after the kids flew the nest, but to be painfully honest, I think I was doing okay with that. I mean have you seen Brady's curls or Ella's cheeks? So back to my point. Last night it just hit me. I don't know if I'll have David with me after the kids are gone. Not that I am worried about a divorce. I realize that could happen, but I'm not to the point of worrying about that. It just hit me that the reason that a 50 year anniversary is so special is not just because a divorce did not occur, but because you both made it! Like really, both people are still alive and ticking. With all of the tragedies and sicknesses out there, it really is nothing short of a miracle when two people make it to old age together.

This leads me to my next point. Even with knowing all of this, it will take discipline to spend time with just David again. As a married couple. Not Brady and Ella's parents. Discipline is a dirty word to so many people, but it actually is a good word. It's easy to love my little ones. When they do things that are less than perfection, all I have to do is look down at their cute little faces and my heart just about bursts. When David does something less than perfection, my heart just about bursts. But that's because I am so upset that my standards were not met. Yes, that is how I think. I'm admitting it because that's the first step to recovery, right?

I don't know how long my kids will be living under my roof. But I don't know how long David and I will spend living under one roof either. Not to be all melodramatic, but we all know of someone who was taken before us way before our time, not God's time, our time.

I'll spend this year, every second of every hour, loving my kids. But I'll also spend them loving my husband. Even when I don't feel like it. Even when he untucks the sheets at night and leaves the light on after he leaves a room. All I have to do is watch him love on our kids and I am reminded of why I chose this cute guy to be my partner in this wonderful, crazy life we lead.